When our home was broken into I went to my daughters room and threw away all of her Justin Bieber things. I told her the burglars took them.
One Does Not Simply Get in the shower and then turn the water on
If you're asking a stranger to take a picture for you Pick a heavyset person that couldn't outrun you with your camera
I don't always get my hair cut short but when I do, i use way too much shampoo the next day
I don't always iron but when I do I add a new, crisper wrinkle for every wrinkle I get rid of
If a dvd won't let you skip the previews press stop twice then play. Skips to the beginning of the movie
If you're ever pulled over at night, turn on your dome lights. It's a courtesy that shows you have nothing to hide, puts the officer at ease and may help you get away with only a warning.
The three treadmills to my left were open and she chose the one right next to me So I guess you can say things are getting pretty serious
How My Wife Sees Her Purse
First Day driving to school forgets and rides the bus home
North Korea didn't blow up my house Today was a good day
uploads picture in hopes of being internet famous complete success
Move to put arm around girl accidentally elbow her face
I don't care if you were saying "Bless you" to someone who sneezed you were talking during a test, you get a zero and a detention
freeze mentos in ice cubes serve time bomb sodas
not sure if buying in bulk is going to save me money or im just going to eat twice as much